Many people mistake jealousy for a sign of love, but that’s a misconception. Unhealthy jealousy destroys loving relationships and certainly doesn’t qualify as an expression of mature behavior. How can you recognize it, and how should you deal with a jealous partner?
Initially, jealousy may be wrongly perceived as heightened interest in a loved one. However, it later transforms into a nightmare. A few minutes of delay followed by an unpleasant interrogation upon arriving home becomes routine. The jealous partner wants to know every detail of what you did every minute. They lack peace of mind because their mind rapidly offers various scenarios of potential infidelity. They live in constant fear of losing their significant other, to whom they are pathologically dependent.
Why does jealousy arise?
One of the most common causes of jealousy is insufficient trust and self-confidence. The jealous person feels inadequate for their partner. Negative experiences from previous relationships can also be triggers.
Sometimes, infidelity or betrayal in the current relationship is the root cause of jealousy. If someone is unfaithful, they fear the other might do the same.
Some individuals succumb to jealousy because they witnessed it in their parents and consider it natural behavior. Others, however, did not receive enough love and attention from their parents, leading them to grow up with a sense that they must earn the favor of their loved ones and constantly guard it.
Jealousy is also fueled by a lack of communication, where mutual sharing, openness, or sufficient attention towards each other is absent. This creates uncertainty and doubt. Constant discussion and thoughts about a past partner can also be fertile ground for jealousy.
Signs of jealousy
A jealous person has a compulsive need to control their partner and have a perfect overview of every minute of their life. They constantly want to know what their partner is doing when they will return home, and who they are meeting and communicating with. Such a relationship becomes an unbroken chain of interrogations, surveillance, reproaches, various prohibitions, and proving innocence.
The information obtained is usually not enough for the jealous person; they need to verify everything and may resort to undignified snooping. They control their partner’s phone, social networks, and computer without hesitation. Initially, adorable jealousy evolves into an attempt to fully possess and dominate the other.
How to deal with a jealous person
The first step is not to give the jealous person what they demand, not to fall for their games, and not to allow unnecessary monitoring or restrictions. Equally important is communication, openness, and honesty. Avoiding lies is recommended. Condemning the infidelity of others can also instill greater trust in the jealous partner. Compliments or flattery can help, while tension may increase attempts at retaliation.
How to overcome jealousy
The solution is to stop clinging to your partner. This involves several steps. The first step is to acknowledge unhealthy jealousy and identify its cause. This is followed by working on addressing this cause. The next step is to learn to control emotions, fear, and suspicion, or seek professional help if needed. Changing attitudes is recommended, ideally by putting oneself in the shoes of the partner. Constant interrogations, reproaches, control, suspicion, and prohibitions eventually disgust any person and compel them to end the relationship.